


My Soul Now Seeks Another Home

by Twhite0206



Series: Long Time Traveler [2]
Category: Les Miserables Modern Day AU, Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 17:48:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/903090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twhite0206/pseuds/Twhite0206
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras realizes that he accidentally breaks Grantaire. This is set BEFORE the events in "Farewell to Your Springs of Joy."</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Soul Now Seeks Another Home

March 24th was a day that, silently, went down in the Les Amis history books. On this day, after almost a year of nearly constant arguments between Enjolras and Grantaire it came to a head in the form of fight unseen by the world since WWII. The first couple of years the group began, Grantaire would sketch in the back and give an antagonistic comment every now and then. The year leading up to this day, Grantaire had become bolder in pointing out fallacies in Enjolras’s arguments and calling him out on many of his points. 

On this day in 2013, Grantaire was being particularly loud and obnoxious. He was in the Captain Morgan stance and speaking violently with his hands. He stepped down as he started to say, 

“And not EVERYONE who supports abortion or gay marriage is going to show! You give people to much credit when most of them will HIDE because they’re…” 

Enjolras had reached his boiling point. 

“THEY ARE WHAT GRANTAIRE? COWARDS? LIARS? NON-BELIEVERS? THAT IS A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO PRIDES THEMSELVES ON NOT BELIEVING IN ANYTHING WORTH SOMETHING.” 

Grantaire was speechless. Enjolras was furious and screaming. Not one person in the Amis had EVER seen Enjolras like this, they also never would again until July 29th. 

“DO YOU FIND ENJOYMENT IN TEARING DOWN THE HOPE THAT THERE’S GOOD IN THE WORLD? IT’S PEOPLE LIKE YOU, GRANTAIRE THAT MAKE WHAT WE DO MEAN SO LITTLE TO A GREAT DEAL OF PEOPLE. YOU. ARE. _TOXIC._ ” 

 

Enjolras was livid and breathless from snapping at the cynic. Grantaire, as the others would recall, looked dejected and his eyes clouded over. Grantaire grabbed his bag beside him and pushed past his fearless leader while saying, 

“Tell me how you really feel. It’s not like I didn’t already know that.”

The door behind Grantaire slammed enough that a bit of the glass cracked. No one dared to break the silence across the café. As the door hit it’s frame, Enjolras stalked out through the back. He was seeing red and he wasn’t finished with this conversation, he just didn’t want to come to fists with Grantaire in the middle of the street. He knew a back way to Grantaire and Jehan’s apartment that was quicker; he also knew where the spare key was. He got there in record time, he vaguely remembers running, hoping to beat Grantaire there. When he reached the apartment, it was dark, meaning Grantaire hadn’t gotten there yet. Enjolras sped up the steps and lifted the little statue of an overweight rabbit that Jehan and Grantaire loved so much they dressed it up for holidays. It currently had a rain hat and pink ribbon to look “springy.” He grabbed the key from the slot in it’s stomach and jammed the key in the door. This action actually took nearly a minute and half to accomplish because Enjolras kept missing the keyhole in his anger, causing him to become even angrier and making it even harder to concentrate. 

When Enjolras finally mastered the evil that was the door, he barged in and stopped dead. It was dark but it wasn’t silent. He heard someone mumbling upstairs, they obviously hadn’t heard him come in because they made no effort to see who had entered. Enjolras was suddenly very self-conscious and climbed the stairs as silently as he could. He noticed a light was and it was slowly dawning on Enjolras that he had never actually seen the second floor of the apartment; the bathroom was downstairs so there was really no reason to. He saw a light on in one of the rooms, he could see the door was open and the voice he’d heard belonged to Jehan. 

“Please Grantaire, look at us.”

“Grantaire, we’re your friends please act like we’re here.”

The second voice belonged to Courfeyrac. Enjolras’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion until he realized they must have left after he and Grantaire and drove him. Enjolras poked his head slightly around the doorframe to see that Grantaire had buried himself under the blankets and pillows on, what Enjolras assumed, was his bed. Courfeyrac was standing near the door and Jehan was sitting on the bed next to the curled up mound that had to be Grantaire. 

It wasn’t until he saw this that Enjolras realized that the mound was shaking and he heard Grantaire crying. Enjolras’s body shuddered and something in his veins turned to ice. 

“Grantaire, we love you. Enjolras didn’t mean it, he never does with things like this. He’s just been really stressed out over everything lately.” Jehan says soothingly. 

“You are not _toxic_ , Grantaire we wouldn’t be here if…” Courfeyrac is cut off by a broken noise emitted from Grantaire. It was probably a sob but, it sounded more like he’d been wounded. 

“He _hates_ me, and why shouldn’t he? _I’m worthless._ ” 

It was the most broken and fragile Enjolras had ever heard Grantaire sound and something in his heart broke a little. Enjolras stepped into the room and was about to say something, anything to make Grantaire not sound like he did then. Before he has time too Courfeyrac slams a hand over his leaders mouth and pushes him, wordlessly and with little commotion, out of the door and down the hallway. It became less like pushing or more like dragging as Courfeyrac pulled him down the stairs away from Grantaire’s room. 

“What the _fuck_ are you doing here?” Courfeyrac hisses. 

Enjolras was without words. Courfeyrac may, at times, have a dirty vocabulary but he had never outright cussed at Enjolras. 

“Answer me. If you’re here to continue your tantrum then you’re out of luck and get the fuck out because you have caused enough damage.” 

Courfeyrac was furious and had let go of Enjolras’s mouth at this point. 

“I…that’s not what I was going to do.” Enjolras says quietly, not now anyway. 

“You should leave.” Courfeyrac says while crossing his arms. “Before he realizes that you’re here, it will only make things worse and, if you can’t tell, he’s in pretty bad shape.”

“I…can I just apologize, and why is he getting so upset anyway? It’s not like we haven’t fought before.”

Courfeyrac rolls eyes and mumbles something that sounds vaguely like ‘dumbass.’

“Well Enjolras, I guess you’ll just have to ask him. It’s not like he’s never actually attacked you like you did to him today, but I’m sure that has nothing to do with it.”

Enjolras stared at his friend. With the exception of Combeferre, Courfeyrac was one of Enjolras’s oldest friends. He had never seen him act like this and it dawned on him how much Grantaire must be hurting, beyond what he had already seen. 

“If you ever let me near him, I could ask him…and apologize.” Enjolras adds when a frown crossed Courfeyrac’s features. 

“Alright.”

The pair head back upstairs and it registered with Enjolras that he was shaking. Courfeyrac puts his hand for Enjolras to stop when they reach the doorway to Grantaire’s bedroom and Courfeyrac walks in. Jehan had moved to rubbing circles in Grantaire’s back and trying to soothe him, it must have helped because he had stopped crying.

“Grantaire?”

He heard blankets shift and, hoarsely, Grantaire answered, “Yeah Courf?” 

It was quiet for a minute so Enjolras risked a glance in the room. He saw Grantaire, Courfeyrac and Jehan in a three way hug, it was really more of a Grantaire sandwich but the feeling was still there. 

Courfeyrac took Grantaire by the shoulders and wiped the last of the tears that lined his face. 

“Hey…I love you ok? But uhm…someone wants to talk to you.”

Grantaire’s features furrowed in confusion and Enjolras took this as his invitation to come in. Grantaire’s face flooded with horror momentarily, then it settled on something Enjolras was accustomed to seeing, sarcasm. 

“Apollo. Didn’t get it all out at the Musain I guess. What else do you have to decree?” Grantaire meant it to sound bitter but his voice cracked towards the end.

“We’ll let you two talk.” Jehan says releasing Grantaire’s hand and pulling Courfeyrac out the door before he could protest. When the door clicked Enjolras turned back to Grantaire and saw that he was fidgeting. Enjolras shuffled his feet and an awkward silence fell over the two.

“You really don’t have to do this. I get it, I won’t come back.” Grantaire says standing while looking at the floor. He started walking and Enjolras stepped into his path.

“I don’t…that’s not…Just…”

“Use your words Apollo, don’t spare me.”

Enjolras frowned. “Would you stop that? I’m not here to make you feel even more like shit, alright?” 

Grantaire frowned and stepped back. 

“I…I’m sorry. I just…you are so infuriating, do you know that? You are smart and talented and you waste it away with six packs and sarcasm.”

Grantaire’s face fell, if not even more than before. 

“Please, tell me something I don’t know.”

“That’s not what I meant…look. You are completely infuriating and obnoxious, but you’ve made me better for it. I’m sorry. You’re sarcasm and cynical insight really did open my eyes to those who aren’t on my side or disagree completely. I’m sorry, I want you to come back.”

Grantaire looked stunned.  
“Wow...that’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He says quietly. 

Enjolras’s eyes widen. 

“I’m…sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I don’t really deserve it.” 

The leader narrowed his eyes.

“Of course you _deserve_ it. I know that I want to do what’s right but I can be an asshole. Just because I said something out of anger does not make it true. Like I said, you’re talented and smart and you are worth so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

Grantaire chuckles hollowly. 

“And yet, I waste it on six packs and sarcasm.”

“I said I could be asshole, didn’t I?”

Grantaire smirks. “You did.”

“Then take it as the truth. I also wanted to ask you…why does what I say upset you so much more than the others?”

There was a sound, like something hitting the floor, in the hallway. It wouldn’t be until later that they would find out it was Courfeyrac slamming his head against the wall.

“I…really don’t want to have this conversation.”

“Why?” Enjolras demands.

“I just don’t.”

“Well I think it’s pretty important. I can’t fix a problem I don’t know I have.”

“It’s not a problem with you.”

Enjolras notices Grantaire is blushing and it hits him like a tidal wave.

“Do…do you have feelings for me?”

Grantaire tilts his head down and Enjolras can guess the answer for himself. 

“OH. Oh.”

“Yeah. This is more awkward than you just hating me outright, thank you. You can leave now.” Grantaire states quickly while making his way to the door again, which causes Enjolras to cut him off again.

“That isn’t a bad thing. I don’t hate you for it.”

“But I’m sure you don’t return it so, I’ll just go throw myself down a well now.” 

“Don’t joke and, you don’t know that.”

“What?”

“How do you know I won’t return them?”

“Do you?”

Enjolras looks into Grantaire’s eyes and he sees something so rarely there, hope. Enjolras also sees the fear of absolute rejection, which Grantaire seemed so accustomed too and he realized he did. His outbursts and hurtful remarks weren’t out of anger, but misplaced passion. Everyone in the Les Amis saw it. Courfeyrac was always hinting to it. Enjolras had always been one to caught up in a cause to see anything else.

“Yes.”

“…This is a turn of events I honestly didn’t expect.”

“Neither did I.”

“So…are we dating now or…”

Enjolras cuts him off by closing the space between them and pressing his lips to Grantaire’s. Grantaire is so shocked he freezes up for the first few moments but relaxes and puts a hand in Enjolras’s hair to deepen the kiss. They each finally run out of air and break apart, panting. 

“You tell me, are we dating?” Enjolras asks. 

Grantaire responds by kissing him again. 

After nearly an hour, the boys remember that Courfeyrac and Jehan were still waiting outside. Grantaire and Enjolras’s go out to check on them, only to find them asleep in the hallway curled into each other. Grantaire covers them with a blanket and walks Enjolras out. 

“So…you’re coming back right?”

“I’m pretty well enough convinced that you want me there.”

“It’ll be strange…now that we’re…us.”

“Well we’ve always been us, now we’re just a couple.” Grantaire says smirking. 

Enjolras smiles. The word was strange to his ears, but he found he very much liked it.

“Yeah, we’re a couple…I’ll call you later, ok?”

“Ok.” Grantaire was beaming at him and Enjolras couldn’t help but return the smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so you get to see the flowering blossoms of their relationship! Next will follow present times again but throughout the story there will be flashbacks, so get ready!


End file.
